Hard of Hearing/Deaf

Taking the Aids Out

Our recent trip to Florida was a time for reflection for me. I have been going so much that I needed a minute to breathe, to gather my wits about me and think about the year to come. A little bit of healing was in order, too.

2017 had been a tough year. I’d dealt with health complications due to pregnancy and delivery, worked to understand that my baby girl was born with what many call a defect – in fact just yesterday the ophthalmologist called it that. E went back to school and A started Middle School. Add to that anxiety (likely exasperated by life) and Hubs constant work at living with PTSD and I was tired.

Since C’s tube surgery and hospitalization, we have been struggling to keep her aids in. She would scream when we placed them and then crawl off to remove them. My happy baby was not happy when we put devices designed to help her. So, I talked to Our hearing therapist once we returned home. I told her how stressful it was and how sad it makes me. That I feel like I’m failing as a mom when they aren’t in but that I’m punishing her when they are. How could I reconcile this?

That day, I took the aids out.

I gave myself a week and waited for upcoming audiology and ENT appointments. It was peaceful in our home. It was needed.When we went and saw the audiologist she said that often little ones need adjustments to their aids after having tubes placed. That would have been nice to know. It was time to build back up and start insisting again.

But I put that off.

You see, C is such a happy baby that I hated the transformation that aids caused. I’m not saying I was right, but sometimes you are just surviving. That is where I was at.

Then C’s bday came around and I no longer could avoid it. Those smiles we got when she first wore her hearing aids we got during grace and her Happy Birthday song. There were enough of us making noise in unison that she could hear us. My daughter has spent the last five months eating every meal and waiting while we said grace with no recognition of what we were doing!

I was a bit shell shocked. That night I committed to pushing the issue of her aids for a little bit every day. The longest she’s gone in the past 7 days is 4.5 hours. We are typically making it 1-2.5 hours though and I’m comforted that I am doing what my baby girl needs, even if she’s not a fan.

After all, isn’t parenting about making the right choice for your kid and not the easy choice for you?

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